An Ode to the only HOTT thing about winter……TRINIDAD CARNIVAL!
TRINIDAD CARNIVAL was one of my worst trips EVER!! And I still had the TIME OF MY LIFE!! The frenetic energy of this week long ADULT SPRING BREAK is quite possibly the best party in the world! It’s one of those storied events that you’re blessed to experience in a lifetime.
Leading up to this trip I heard sooo many amazing tales of people dancing til they dropped, having steamy week-long love affairs, being covered in paint at J’Ouvert, and the exhilaration of playing Mas on the Soca stage. I decided that I would treat myself to a Carnival Adventure when I finished my Master’s degree at the University of Maryland.
Problem is, I started off the year with a Twerk Injury (this is some 30+ BS)!
When the beat dropped, I jumped out of my seat to shake a tailfeather to Neyo and Pitbull’s ‘TIME OF OUR LIVES’ with my gay BFF at a New Year’s day Boozy Brunch and rolled my ankle dancing too hard! After a month of suffering, wrapping, elevating and flat shoes, I prayed that it would be healed by the time I left for Trinidad. THANK GOD IT WAS!
In February, people from far and wide descend upon Trinidad and Tobago for a week of debauchery. Everything you’ve heard is TRUE, and I WAS NOT READY!
The Bad, Bujee and Paid put on their costumes, put their hands on their knees to twerk and try to hold on to their band’s sippy cup full of top shelf liquor!
NOTE: Carnival is NOT cheap! I spent several grand on Costumes, Flights, Rooms, and Fetes (parties) for the week! My girl Jarita (Gorgeous chocolate powerhouse doctor, who can party with the best of them and had a mean snatchback game after her first baby at 40) was my muse for this trip. She and her other FLYY New York girlfriends had been going to Carnival for several years. Together, we worked with a concierge who helped us book our band, hotel, ground transport and all of our parties. Once we arrived, we were worry free because everything had been paid in advance. We bought tickets to all the BIG events!! AMbush, Vale, Phuket, Soca Brainwash. Boat rides, concerts, day parties, sunrise parties, you name it. There is no shortage of events to attend during Carnival. Each party cost about 100-200 USD and we purchased 1-2 events a day! This promised to be a fun filled week, done at a breakneck speed.
We played Mas with the band FANTASY which had beautiful costumes and lots of gorgeous native Trini participants (many of whom looked like East Indians). Playing MAS-querade with an official band gets you a costume and two days Food, Music, Security and Top shelf alcohol.
The group that had the most Blacks and looked like they were having the most fun was TRIBE. Lots of 8-packed beautiful brothas were in that group, and it was always a pleasure to pass by or get caught in the frenzy of their mobile music trucks.
PANAMA
In order to reach Port of Spain, Trinidad we had a long layover in Panama. We went to the mall and did some shopping, found a few cute items, and made it back to the airport in more than enough time to catch our flight. Then we went for drinks at Margaritaville. BIG MISTAKE!! In retrospect, we should have walked out on the bill!! It took wayyyy to long for them to bring our checks and we had to make a madd dash back to the gate. When we arrived, we were just 5 minutes over the cutoff time, but they claimed that they could not let us board once the plane had been air sealed and secured. We argued and fussed, but they were steadfast! We watched them take our luggage off of the plane. And we proceeded to try and figure out WTF we were going to do that night. This is when the foolishness began. We had nowhere to sleep (left my AMEX at home and couldn’t access the lounges) and wandered the airport aimlessly for hours until we finally crashed near our gate and still had to wait until midday to travel to Trinidad. Royally annoyed, we ended up on the same flight as friends who had departed a day later than us. The tensions were high between Jarita and I, both silently cursing and blaming each other for missing the flight. We couldn’t wait to board and start the festivities in Trinidad.
Our first fete was a fun outdoor affair, drinks and food were not as abundant as they had promised, but the DJ and pulsing energy foreshadowed what we’d be up against the rest of the week. I wore a white catsuit with tropical leaves and felt wayyy overdressed. The skimpier the better is the rule at Carnival. We touched down at 6pm, went to a party at 8, and had to wake up for the next party at 3am.
The party STARTS AT 3AM???
Carnival is TEAM NO SLEEP! There are parties happening around the clock from 3am-5pm daily. CAESAR’S ARMY A.M.BUSH STARTS AT 3 AM!
They literally drive you to the middle of the BUSH!
The theme is paramilitary guerilla camouflage (at least the year I went)! They send you a box of goodies that includes a sippy cup, wristband, camo tank top, and eye smudge. People wore combat boots, Doc Martens, ripped shorts, cargo pants and maybe a fake army helmet or some camo netting for flare! There’s a big DJ booth at one end and drink trucks (think food truck, an open face truck serving all manner of alcoholic beverages) droning about in the field. To further the combat atmosphere, there are lasers beaming, lots of glow in the dark tattoos and glowsticks being circulated, and party employees shooting you with water and body paint. Think outdoor rave with Soca music. It started off slow and cold, but ended up being a good party, replete with sweaty dancing, food carts serving hot Doubles (pita pockets filled with delish curried chickpeas) and water slides to clean off the paint and mud at the end .This is where the real FUN began!! My recollection is foggy, but somehow I TWISTED MY KNEE on one of those slides, but managed to find Jarita and make it back to the Hyatt.
YOU’VE GOT TO RALLY
The party truly lived up to its name because I woke up that afternoon feeling like I had been AMBUSHED!! Not only did the ‘TRINI FLU’ symptoms start to kick in, I had to physically lift my right leg out of bed because my knee was THROBBING. To add to injury, we had also slept through a prepaid party. That evening we rallied and went on a booze cruise with some guys we met at AMbush. My knee wasn’t 100 %, but I still got my wind on. The next day, a nasty cough set in. I literally thought I was going to cough up a lung AND get kicked out of the room with all my germs and injuries. I had the chills, a bad cough, and was completely fatigued. These were pre-mask days, so I probably picked something up transiting through the DC and Panama airports in February. Unfortunately, there were no pharmacies open because Carnival week shuts the Island down. Luckily, I was traveling with doctors; while there were no cough suppressants to be found, they were able to monitor me and make sure I medicated with the perfect cocktail of Advil and Black Label Whiskey so I didn’t pass out!
The party I was looking forward to the most was Vale! This massive, outdoor breakfast fete is one of the most coveted tickets of the week, storied to have terrific food including a pig roast and jumping music. Our concierge was a major FAIL on this one. We waited outside the gates for nearly two hours for our tix to arrive, and finally had to go back to the hotel to access our phones (I felt safe, but Jarita’s phone went missing the previous year so we left our expensive pocket computers in the room during most parties, and I had no service anyway) and make a new plan. After buying new tix from scalpers, we only got to experience the last 2 hours of the party which I thought was great! Lots of dancing, fine brothas, crispy pig skin, thumping music and a lil warm rain to get the day started. Throughout all of this I was still limping, fatigued, and suffering from the ‘Trini Flu.’ But I had paid wayyy too much money and taken a week off to be there, so I kept pushing.
WIND & WHISKEY
Amazingly, all of these events were just a buildup to Jouvert, Carnival Monday and Carnival!!
Like I said, this is Adult Spring Break on steroids. We decided not to join a band for Jouvert, the cantankerous pre dawn party that reminds me of Indian Holi (Trinidad has many families with East Indian roots so they could very well be connectd) because part of the fun is dousing your fellow compatriots with COLORED PAINTS! Jouvert -a play on the French word for dawn or daybreak is the official start to Carnival or MARDI GRAS – the raucous days of partying leading up to the Catholic Lent Season of fasting and sacrifice. We never found our homegirl to join her band, but we made the best of it, dancing from band to band, getting covered in pastel paints. I’ve still got my paint sprinkled fanny pack and pair of Chucks to prove it! We threw away the clothes! LOL The Hyatt doesn’t want your JOUVERT paints on their floors, walls and linens so they setup a temporary shower station in the garage complete with hot showers, flops and fluffy robes. I may or may not have shared my shower with a nerdy, 6-pack clad, dreadlocked guy from Philly.
Next up was Carnival Monday, which is literally the warm up to actually playing mas at Carnival. You wear your own costume that day. Mine was a long sleeved fuchsia leotard with festive fringe hanging from the arms. Again, I was OVERDRESSED. Everyone else wore bikini type outfits with cutouts or netting material. We met the rest of the band in a field for a boxed lunch. We got to mingle and meet the people we’d be playing mas with. Still feeling the Trini Flu (Thank GOD for that bottle of Ibuprofen), I rallied and got to see what Jumping Up was really all about. The sun was beaming bright and the energy and vitality of the crowd was palpable. We walked, ran, danced, twerked, and wined our way into the evening. Amber Rose was the celebrity guest in our band that year. She came down off the truck to dance and mingle with us common folk a few times! LOL That night we wanted to get a good night’s sleep because we had to be up at the crack of dawn to get our makeup done and make sure our official costumes were perfectly styled.
WE FETTING MORE THAN YOU!!
We chose a HOTT PINK BEDAZZLED THONG BIKINI number with large ostentatious colored stones. It was cute, but we regretted not spending another 1-2 hundred dollars for the feathers. I observed that the locals had the most beautiful and elaborate costumes. Someone pointed out that they could spend a thousand dollars on a costume because they didn’t have to pay for flights and accommodations. We took a few pix inside the hotel, dropped our phones off in the room and let the debauchery commence……….KINDOF! Our makeup took forever, so we missed our band at the meeting point for crossing the stage. Every year Carnival starts with each band crossing the stage and dancing with ALL of the members. There are people from the community watching from the stands and dignitaries judging from the grandstand. We went to the stadium and waited for almost two hours for Fantasy to cross. I was having an especially bad morning, feeling fatigued and coughing hard. For me it was a much needed break and a restful way to start the day watching hoards of excited band members invade the stage with their flamboyant costumes, feathers shaking and Soca blasting. The stage and crowds pulsed with pure elation and jubilance as they crossed the stage. After realizing that we had missed our group, we walked back to the meeting field for the FINAL DAY OF CARNIVAL!
I was officially playing MAS-querade with Fantasy, and a FANTASY it was.
Everyone was stunning in their Dazzling feathered costumes and elaborate makeup.
It was a fast paced almost out-of body experience. Our strategy was- one cup of whiskey, one water. Keep the liquor flowing and stay hydrated!! We danced, pulsated, touched our knees and toes, winding close with girlfriends and grinding on fine men. We especially loved finding other people who wore the same costume, taking pix, shots and dancing wildly with our fellow revelers. As we walked the miles of the parade route, we danced with our band, but also had a blast winding and grinding with locals. Everyone from the young to the old lined the streets to enjoy CARNIVAL! It was a multigenerational affair. In the late afternoon we broke away from fantasy to jump up with TRIBE (the biggest and most popular band) and other bands. At one point the mobile music trucks who set the pace for the parade started driving fast and we were literally RUNNING through the streets with the zeal of a peaceful riot! LOL
When we finally reached the end of the parade route I CRIED! I had summoned every ounce of vitality in my body to make it through this week. We had made it to the end and I needed a physical and emotional release. Partying 16 hours a day had caught up with me!
All my body wanted to do was crash, cough, and sleep! And we hadn’t even made it to Tobago yet!
TOBAGO WIND DOWN
I think we missed our initial flight to Tobago, so we sat in the packed airport for several hours!
I was sooo drained and feeling horrible that I sat lackjawed slumped over my suitcase in a Flu Stuper until they could get us onto another flight. I must have looked terrible because Donna told me to fix my face and sit up, which I could not muster the energy to do. When we arrived in Tobago, we went to the Tobago Wind Down party on the beach. I put on my bikini, took a few requisite pix with Jarita at the Step and Repeat backdrop and found a bench to perch on because I dare not step foot in the cool water because I already had the chills. Tobago was a blurr, nothing of note happened there and I remember spending more time at the airports in transit, than I remember the island. After a week of the BEST KIND of TORTURE, we were on our way back to USA. When I arrived home, the Trini Flu subsided quickly, but my knee injury persisted for months. I iced, elevated, X-rayed, wrapped, and did all of the things to assuage my knee. Since I couldn’t do any strenous workouts, I took up Hott Yoga. The heat and intense stretching of Hott Yoga further exascerbated my knee injury. As some of you may know the lifestyle changes and dehibilitation of an injury can cause depression. One of the only joys of DC Winter was wearing my large collection of high-heeled boots andn booties. From Yellow Snakeskin, Brown Lace Ups, to Thigh High Black F*ck Me Boots, my winter identity was tied to FASHION. That winter and spring I was relegated to UGGS and ballet flats. NO FUN! They gave me some good meds, and eventually my knee sprain heeled, but MY EGO did not.
Winter of 2016 proved to me that I was AGING! BUT stories of my TWEERRK INJURIES carried me throughout that year and beyond……………I NEED A DO-OVER
Maybe this time I’ll venture to Brazil, Barbados, Toronto or Miami to check out their CARNIVAL SCENE! BON VOYAGE NAVIGATORS!
CARNIVAL TIPS
Find a REPUTABLE local concierge to make arrangements for you
Get ALL party tickets/wristbands up front!
Have your concierge arrange transportation to and from events
Play MASquerade with TRIBE if possible
Learn the Soca SONGS ahead of time when they are released in November/December
Build up your STAMINA, cardio is key, Carnival is a week of non-stop partying!
PACKING:
Waterproof Phone carrier
FannyPack or small GOBAG for essentials like your phone, room key,wipes/hand sanitizer, lip gloss, tissues for a roadside tinkle, mini sunblock, granola bar, etc.
Lots of SUNBLOCK and Waterproof makeup.
Put INSOLES in your shoes, your feet will thank you
Bring All of your SKIMPIEST BIKINIS
Bring MEDS /first aid kit on every trip, but especially this one because pharmacies close.
I reccomend carrying a host of meds, but essentials include:
Benadryl or Zyrtec- for allergic reactions
Advil and Excedrine Migraine- for aches and headaches
Ciproflaxin- Antibiotic and Anti-diarehial med
Robitussin / Mucinex Cough Gels